Why to celebrate your relationship?

Why is it so hard not tho tell your partner on a regular basis how well they did, how good they look, how much you love them?

I have friends who do this very well: they celebrate their anniversaries every 6 months, they kiss and compliment each other every time they meet, they remember the important dates and don't hesitate to show their affection to people around them as well. They seem like they are freshly in love even after dating each other for four years, and still they don't over-do it.

As Suzanne Phillips writes on her relationship blog, couples not celebrating their relationship can find themselves in a dead end.

As much as celebration without fidelity lacks substance and drives suspicion, fidelity without celebration can feel like obligation or habit. Over the years, I have heard too many people struggling in relationships say “To live with a partner who just doesn’t notice you or what you do is lonelier than living alone."

By celebrating your relationship, you make a difference between your affection to your partner and other people. We all want and deserve to be noticed. Unfortunately, couples who go for cheating often justify their action by "I did not have any affection or attention from my partner, I was feeling lonely and taken for granted".

Life is short. Why not celebrating the relationship everyday and make the most out of what you still have?

Preparing for Christmas - cards

I was in an horry for a Diwali party here in Mumbai and had to find a card - fast. As I had painting supplies, paper and pencils at home, the fastest option seemed to do it myself!

The card was successful, so I got inspired and started crafting also Christmas cards. All you need is paper, watercolors, scissors and some glitter. These are the first ones to go:

Small things matter - Inbox background

I suddenly realized my gmail inbox looks very depressing. I had chosen a "space" theme as my background and the whole inbox looked black because the orange planets were covered by my incoming emails.

This had to change!

I chose a mountain background with a blue sky and the had an amazing surprise. The colours of the landscape are changing: sometimes it is a clear sky, sometimes a sunset, sunrise etc. Now I am looking forward to open my inbox everyday and curious to see how it looks like. And this background is certainly making me feel more positive.

Ouch

 

The aftermath

Learn and let go - or the other way around?

It is funny how things suddenly are put in a different perspective when you step out from a situation and let go.

No matter how painful it has been, I know letting go was the only way out. I have tried to change before, but I never had similar insights I have had now. Since then, I am able to look at things objectively and learning so much about relationships, myself, the other person and love. It makes me less sad and more calm when I realize this was for the best of everyone and had to happen to turn things better. Only now I can see clearly what I appreciate, what I want and what I will miss.

It is true that we have to like and care about ourselves first, otherwise we have nothing to give to another person. By loving and respecting ourselves, we attract people who show us love and respect and automatically become more generous in loving other people. By focusing on what we appreciate in the other person, we get more on what we focus on. Same goes for complaints.

In the and couples should simply have more fun!

Comforting words from Marci Shimoff - The Secret

Even if you're having a really hard time in a relationship... things aren't working, you're not getting along, someone's in your face... you still can turn that relationship around.
Take a piece of paper, and for the next thirty days, once a day sit down and write all the things that you appreciate about that person. Think about all the reasons that you love them. You appreciate their sense of humor, you appreciate how supportive they are. And what you'll find is that when you focus on appreciating and acknowledging their strengths, that's what you'll get more of. And the problems will fade away.

What if it is too late?


Sometimes it is too late, but at least we can always learn and improve ourselves. People also change. Not all the relationships are meant to last. If we could feel joy and positive feelings with anyone by just loving ourselves, it would not matter who our life partner was. Before getting there we need to know what we want, and then become that person ourselves.

Secret thoughts

Somehow today I noticed the friend I am living with has the book "The Secret". It was placed back in its place in the bookself as all the Diwali decorations were removed today. I saw the book just when I needed it the most. Or perhaps it was the prayer last night asking that everything will be alright again.

I open the book on the page "Secret made simple". I have read the book already, but I learn again: our emotions tell about our feelings. Change your thoughts to positive and you will feel good again. We deserve all the good things life has to offer. Life is what you think it is, so I might start telling myself everyday: "life is so easy, life is good and all good things come to me!" Because everything I think about, I WANT.

Maybe this is a solution to my chronic crying reactions. I have noticed I am thinking or hearing negative things when I start crying. Instead, I could tell myself: everything is ok, and is going to be amazing, you are safe.

What ever I want, I can ask the universe to have it. I only have to ask once. However, it is only possible to have it delivered if I deliberately believe in it and have true faith.

So I ask. There is nothing to lose. I deserve all the good things in life.

I look at the treetops on the sunny sky I can see from the living room window and think how happy I am for all the love I have in my life and send it to everyone in my thoughts.

Aquarelle painting

When I heard that a friend of a friend is organising an aquarelle painting course here in Mumbai, I decided to join right away.

Last time I did this was probably in high school! 

 Pots and shadows

 

 Practising flowers

 

 Mumbai skyline

 

Bottles

There is nothing lacking

Most regretted before dying

I did bump into this blog by Bronnie Ware inspirations and chai, but I was kind of looking for it as today I have been reflecting what are the most important things in my life and how I want to spend the rest of it.Bronnie worked years with people in the hospital who where close to their death and she could learn many important lessons from them: what are the top 5 most regretted things before death?

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Coming to India has always been my dream and now I am here. I have seen amazing things: the mountains, all colors of sunsets, eaten delicious food and seen many people smile and spent time with local families and friends. I have also seen so much poverty, waste and illness I haven't seen the last 6 months. I have learned a lot and excited to learn more. The dirt, heat and the fact that nothing works so well is not that bad. It is all ok. Nevertheless, it is clear one things is missing: my own friends and family. It is really true that you see near when you go far. This feeling has been overwhelming the last couple of days and I have been skype calling with my friends and family oversees. It will be fine. I will get used to it, I will find my social circles in the end.

Still, the feeling is stronger: I do want to spend more time with those who are important to me and not to regret spending all my life working far away abroad.

Painting

The world of introverts

Why are you so silent and in your head again, why can't you ever be happy? How can you listen to that depressing music?

What do you mean? I AM happy. And this music is not depressing. At least not for me.

I though there was something wrong with me before Susan Cain actually said it alould: Introverts are often blaimed to be antisocial and weaker especilly at work because they are not continuously chatting and talking enthusiastically with everyone. But this is their strenght. Some people just need space and silence in order to be creative.

Most importantly, introverts enjoy listening nostalgic music, reading emotional books and thinking about nostalgic moments. This IS happiness for them. We do not have to shout it to the world. Outsiders please understand.

Give it away

Can money buy Happiness? Yes!

Start giving your money away.

Co-active coaching

Yes, because we are all AMAZING.

Last weekend I finally made one of my dreams to come true. I am still so excited about it I feel like smiling to strangers and walking feels like dancing!

I participated in a Fundamentals course in Co-active coaching by CTI - The Coaches Training Institute in London. I thought I already knew a lot about coaching after reading so many books on life coaching, maditation, mindfullness etc. but it turned out there is so much more! Coaching is about practising it, not about reading and making notes.

Coaching includes a special set of skills such as listening in three different levels and putting all the attention to the coachee, who is the center of attention. Coaching is not about the coach itself, giving answers or opinions at all, but helping the coachee to find the answers in them selves and take the next steps to make their wildest dreams come true! Believe it or not, but what I have seen last weekend this is true and amazing!

Most importantly, coaching is not concentrating on problems. I thought going deeper into problems was necessary to solve them, but concentrating too much on the problem actually keeps us in low and negative energies, which on the other hand prevents us to see the solution. Instead, coaching aims to lift people up and make them see what is really important to them by focusing on what they love, makes them feel wonderful, smile and shine. The secret is to stay in the higher energies where we have the most creative and positive view on our lives. We all are naturally creative, resourceful and amazing. Isn't that great!

There is so much more to come!