Paradox of choice

Believe it or not,
"The key to happiness is low expectations".

There are other things

It is scary how easy it is to get stuck in to daily routines. Lately, I have been thinking about the thesis, working for the thesis and while not working for the thesis, thinking what to change or what to add in the thesis. Other things like coming summer vacations, summer in Brussels and not even talking about new refreshing ideas and meeting new people have been put aside. Wrong! this is not me.

I have to acknowledge I was first hesitating when my boyfriend suggested to go to Barcelona for a weekend and then skiing in France for one week: this would totally ruin my studying schedule. I have no time to have some fun? 

Luckily he was more persistent. Ten days off from Brussels was more than needed. And yes, also thesis looked much better after I came back. My subconscious mind had worked without me paying any attention or effort to it.

Something positive about envy?

I have to write a few words about envy.

In general envy is considered a very negative feeling, one of the seven mortal sins. Envier compares himself with other people and has a feelings of lacking something another person has. This can lead to feeling of anger, hate, rage and vigious cycle of negative feelings. The sadest thing is that the envious person becomes unhappy and bitter only by his own thoughts, not beause of other people.

Nevertheless it is one of the primitive emotions and we all have it from time to time, some more, some less.

But I think envy can learn us something valuable about ourselves, if we listen to ourselves carefully and try to understand it.

I noticed a feeling of envy in me recently. I have been working hard on my studies and at the same time having a lack of motivation. Something is missing. I am searching for that drive. I want to find my purpose and do things with passion, be courageous, know exactly which way to go. Oh and then there are those people who do exactly that. They know exactly what they want. They paint, they sign, they travel, study law, it doesn't matter, they just know and they do it. I wish I had that!

There are two options: 

1. I can concentrate on what I don't have and keep on suffering. Feel bitter and be unhappy with my life.
2. Or, I can ask myself why do I feel like this? What am I afraid of? What am I lacking? And then do something about it. Action! 

Envy can be a positive feeling if we use it right. I chose the option two, and yes, deep inside me I already know what I want in my life I don't yet have. It is just a question of will, some guts and work.

And there is plenty for us every one. 

Biutiful

One of those movies that make everyday stress and worries seem totally insignificant. 

Biutiful goes straight to the heart. Rough and realistic, it evokes lots of thoughts and feelings, but on the other hand leaves speechless. Inspite of all the chaos and tragedy, life is beautiful.


It is never easy to encounter the death. Even if life was full of struggle and everyday survival wasn't self-evident. But how difficult is it when you don't know who will take care of your children after you are gone?

In this moment

Last summer, after a long hesitation, I tried meditation for the first time.

I had read and heard about it countless of times but never really understood how to do it or really believed it works. Sitting still and just breathing sounded like...doing nothing useful.It took me a while to understand that's the whole point. 

I wanted to write about meditation now, because I didn't have time to meditate for two weeks. There was moving house, new schedules, travelling, stress and other excuses. And now I really feel the difference regular meditation can make and what happens if I stop.

I started to meditate every morning, first only five minutes at a time. Sitting my back straight, hands on my sides and just concentrating on breathing. I fill my lungs completely counting to five and then expire slowly to empty the lungs as far as possible. If any thoughts come to my mind, I just accept them and concentrate on breathing again. And again. Meditation is being conscious of every moment and feelings in the body while concentration on breathing, the very self-evident function we are not aware of.

In stressful situations people tend to breathe superficially. This has a direct connection to our body and brain: it prevents us to think clearly and act calmly. The more we are conscious of our breathing, the more we also live in the moment and are aware of our body and thoughts.

I started to notice the difference after some weeks of persistent meditation. I caught myself more and more in situations when I was daydreaming, over-stressing or thinking in a certain way. I became more conscious of my thoughts. I was able to calm down in stressful situations like driving a car in heavy traffic. And this was an amazing change. Before I was always panicking in the chaotic Brussels car jungle. Also I was more calm in public situations. I was able to make presentations in the university and think clearly at the same time, whereas before I forgetting words and not even talking about blushing.

Now, when I didn't meditate for two weeks, I feel more nervous again. I have less control of my thoughts. I am not living in the moment but constantly thinking about school stuff again, what to do next and what I might have forgotten.

Meditation is not about performing. There is no right or wrong way to do it. The most important thing is to relax, listen to your body and empty your mind. First times might feel odd and uncomfortable and you might have difficulties to concentrate. But this is normal. Just accept it. 

After a few weeks everything looks and feels a bit different.

Leave it unspoken

What a song.

Some things are just impossible to describe: check out the wonderful opening song of the Hurts-consert in Brussels!

Revealing sun

 

Every spring they surprise me. Those first bright sunrays. Spring, wait a moment, I am not ready for this yet!

It was one of those normal grey winter days and I was sitting in the train. Suddenly, bright sunlight appeared behind the clouds.

Warm feeling on my cheeks, the world was full of colours and instant energy wave swept over me. 

But wait a minute. My clothes looked fluffier and shabbier than ever. My skin was dry and pale. I felt like someone just woke me up and I wasn't willing to get up from my bed. My eyes opened after a long period of hybernation. 

But there is no way to escape those rays.

Something needs to change. 

It is time to get rid of old shabby stuff,
leave stagnating thoughts behind,

make some room for new ideas,

move on.

It is time for renewal!